Book Review- Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps by Jennifer Garvey Berger

I like to revisit the book, Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps by Jennifer Garvey Berger. One of my most mind-opening realizations of any book, was about being "right." It turns out being correct is an attempt at fact, but being/feeling right is an emotion and the two are loosely tied, not directly connected. Here is a simple exercise to demonstrate:

What does it feel like to be right? It feels great. What does it feel like to be wrong? It feels bad, shameful... except that isn't true. That sense of shame was what it felt like to find out you were wrong. Before that point, you were wrong and felt just the same as being right. Being wrong felt great! Meaning, there was no association between being correct and being right. No association between the facts and the emotions felt about those facts.

What is dangerous is the very natural and understandable desire to remain "right." It's an easy goal for the brain to try to stay in that feeling of positiveness and avoid feelings like shame. It is a stubborn ego trap that prevents us from engaging with reality, accepting feedback, and learning from mistakes. Only by stopping and separating out our emotions, judgements, conclusions, and observable facts can we make a decision grounded in reality. We have to guard against choosing the desire to remain comfortable over the pursuit of the best decisions.

We can't trust our mind and body to know if it is right or wrong. We can only observe.